There's so much tension in so many areas of my life right now. Do I feel tense? No! I was thinking about everything today and all of a sudden I was tired of thinking about it so I ate half a bag of Wheat Thins. Those things will be the end of me, honestly. They don't make my problems go away but they sure taste good. Anyway. Great America was, indeed, rock and roll. Top Gun is still the best coaster ever, PAX 217 is still great live, and Relient K's show made me a fan even though I never listen to the CD Katie gave me. The company I was with - well, I've had better. However, I acquired a PAX 217 beanie and the world was set aright. Also, I ate Taco Bell at 1 AM, which is always an adventure. I had a dream last night, but I can't talk about it. I just want to forget it. Forever. Speaking of Katie (which I was, a while back), I talked to her for a little bit last night and she is all depressed. She told me she feels "ugly and fat nasty" and that she's tired of looking in the mirror and seeing herself. She is beautiful, to the point where no boy ever looks at me when she's around. Why can't pretty girls come to grips with their prettiness? Oh, and she can't handle the way she handles herself anymore. I have a feeling all this is stemming from her preoccupation with the opposite sex. As a diversion, she's been minorly obsessed with boys for the past few months. Like, she picks someone to like and talks to people about him and raves on about how she will marry him and whatnot. She says she's never serious, but expending all that energy on attention to boys and not receiving much attention back is never good for one's self-image. I know because I gained so much self-confidence when I decided to quit activiely seeking boys. I didn't accomplish anything at all today. Summer is almost here and my motivation is slipping steadily. I accidentally slept in till almost 10 and the biggest event after that was a trip to the post office. And youth core group, which was cool because we had a couple of new kids. There are a whole bunch of little things I need to do that I just . . .haven't. For instance, I found a translation service that will translate this letter from Masha for under $8 and all I have to do is send the payment and the address where I have the letter posted, yet it's been over a month since I received the estimate. Also, I'm supposed to give the valedictorian speech at the graduation ceremony. I have the phone number of the girl who is organizing the ceremony to see what theme she chose, but I haven't called her. Little tiny things like that, all stacked up. AAAAAAH! I feel great, though. Really. God. I know He's been giving me His strength because I'm way past the end of myself. Holly can't handle all the church politics and big decisions and youth group leadership and everything else, but God certainly can. |